I'm Not Perfect

There's a lot of things that I do well, and I haven't always been that way with those things.

There’s things that I didn’t do well in the past, I still don’t do well now, and I probably won’t ever do well no matter how hard I try.

And you know what? I'm still not there. I'm not perfect. And I’ve never been perfect and never will be. And I’ve sure as hell made the wrong call on how to work with a client before… and not just once either.

Knowing that I make mistakes doesn’t mean I’m not qualified to work with you. I don't think you need to be perfect in order to be a professional cuddler.

And I started doing professional cuddling before there was much in the way of mainstream training, so I learned a LOT by making mistakes and growing up as a sheltered twenty-something doing this work into… an older and wiser twenty-something (I’m 29 as of writing this so technically this is still true). There were so many opportunities to mess up.

After all, even though I'm here for you and I'm here to help you, I'm still human.

Here's just a handful of things I've messed up:

I've been unclear with my offerings. I've mistaken “full service” as just wanting all the cuddles and had to tell somebody as they arrived for their session and tried to feel me up that no, I don't offer sex. That was embarrassingly naive.

In another session very early on in my cuddle career, I didn't hold my boundaries right and I shut down in the middle of a session instead of saying no to something I was moderately uncomfortable with. Then when that client really wanted more sessions with me, I didn’t know how to turn the clock back on our boundary issues and instead of talking about it I shut down communication with them.

I used to be terrible at scheduling. I had a potential client that had a personal vendetta against me because I accidentally double booked a session because I didn't see his email confirming our session.

I was disorganized. Heck if I’m being honest I’m still disorganized. The number of times I’ve pushed clutter in a corner of the room with a bedsheet over it is a little appalling. Plus I don't always make my invoices in time.

I don't always hit the mark when trying to deeply connect with my clients. I don’t always relate to clients the way I would like to, and I’ve railroaded conversations and realized after how uncomfortable it was for them. I’ve avoided conversations that could have gotten us closer, letting us have a more cohesive session, instead following a “safe” conversation thread.

I’ve been attracted to clients. I know how hard it is for you to discern romantic and sexual attraction from attraction due to proximity because I’ve had to do it myself when I was attracted to a client. I’ve sat with those emotions and tried to figure out how to navigate them while cuddling (or if I should be working with them still at all), and I haven’t always handled this in the most graceful of ways.

I’ve brought up whatever baggage I'm bringing into a session instead of leaving it at the door. I’ve been so overwhelmed with being emotional supportive for so many people and misplaced where I draw the line with my personal life and the things happening in it. I’m sooo much better about this now, but it was really hard when I first started as I didn’t understand the ramifications of doing this.

I’ve tried to fix my clients. I sometimes give unsolicited coaching and advice to my clients. Some are happy to receive it, others not so much. But I gave that advice when it would have been better for them to discern possibilities for themselves.

I’m sure I’ve made more mistakes, but those are the ones that burn in my mind’s eye the most.

And you know what? I'm still learning. 

I'm doing much better with these. I would say 95% of the time I do a really good job with these. Other times, not so much.

One that continues to be a struggle for me is follow up communication inbetween sessions. I'll admit it — one of my biggest struggles is just sending a follow-up email.

It's something I want to get better at, so if you expect to hear from me via email because I said so, but it takes a few days, I'm sorry. That's something that I'm still working on.

I haven't been the best fit for some of my clients and they've told me. You can see some of those testimonials on my website.

So, I'm not perfect. I'm perfectly imperfect. And you know what? So are you. And I'm okay with that.

We can figure out how to be better together.