2020 Curveballs

I always say my life is never boring. Sometimes that’s a good thing.

But holy sugar, 2020 really hit us all with a whole bout of not-so-great never boring times. Between COVID-19, recession, possible depression (in more ways than one), George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and everything else in between…

First the elephant in the room: COVID-19 meant that I couldn’t cuddle. That’s been my main source of income and how the heck am I supposed to work if I can’t be within six feet of people? We all figured it would just be a couple weeks of this but now here we are three months later…

(Oh, but the *best* part was not knowing when I could legally reopen even. And then being told THREE days before I can reopen… Massachusetts had their shit together for most of the pandemic, but how the heck am I supposed to be ready to go in three days?)

Meanwhile, I decided to write a book while in isolation to teach others how to connect to themselves, to others, and to the world at large. I was really getting into finishing the edits when George Floyd was murdered. The whole world responded, I responded, we all learned some more about systemic racism and how anti-racism is more loving and caring than not being racist. I’m sooo proud of everyone that protested and spoke up and took the time to start dismantling their unchecked biases.

And through that, I also saw a lot of white leaders fucking up big time. No one’s perfect, sure, but it was bad watching how much people’s ignorance and insecurities showed up and hurt other people. I’ve done a loooot of work to dismantle my own stuff, so to see people in leadership positions making the mistakes of someone blind to their own trauma-inducing ways was a real emotional roller coaster. Since I did the work previously for myself and I’m a white person, I took it upon myself to do the work to help them learn so people of color didn’t have to.

(Do not give me props for that. I do not want to be on a pedestal of “one of the good white people” because I know I’m not. I’m just leveraging my privilege to get white people that don’t see their blind spots to listen.)

AND THEN RECENTLY my roommate told me he’s getting married in August and his future wife is moving in! That means I needed to move out though… 4 people in my apartment is too many. Luckily I found a place to move into… with a July 1st move in date.

So how am I feeling?

So yes, 2020 is the year of the curveballs…